Note to readers: This is satire. You can find the real story here.
From “King” George’s Fantastic Megalomaniacal Adventures: Chapter 15
…”King” George did not take the news too well. He nearly tripped over his long black robes as he rose from his office chair and pounded his desk with his fist.
“Where is my royal signet?” he shouted, the veins popping on his forehead.
“Y-y-your what, your honor?” the young judicial aide replied nervously.
“It’s not ‘your honor’! It’s ‘your Majesty’!” He stood erect, his shoulders thrown back and his nose elevated in pompous self-absorption.
“Your Majesty… I’m sorry… I-I I must have lost the signet somewhere.”
“Never mind, then. Prepare a royal decree.”
“You mean a court order?”
“A ROYAL DECREE!!” George yelled out, stomping his foot repeatedly to accentuate his point. “I said, ‘A Royal Decree’!”
“Yes, your hon-, your Majesty. What shall it say?” the aide replied meekly, pencil and notepad firmly in hand.
“That the usurping rats, the so-called ‘Congress,’ that whatever they say, or do, their so-called subpoena… it cannot, IT WILL NOT STAND!” George’s fist surged into the air with an impassioned sweep.
As the aide scribbled diligently, George continued with his vainglorious oration. “How dare they? HOW DARE THEY! I have decreed – with my royal signet to prove it – that this peasant serf woman must die! She is to be denied all food and drink until she suffers and dies at last!”
“Sir,” the aide piped in, “er, your Majesty?”
“Not now. I’m on a roll.” He reassumed his royal aura. “Let it be decreed this very day and very hour that the death sentence shall proceed! And no act of so-called ‘Congress’ can do anything to forestall it! So it has been declared, so it shall be!!”
“Turn it into legal speak, right?”
“Yes,” George mumbled. “Whatever must be done….”
At that moment, another aide rushed into the “royal chambers.” He cleared his throat and declared the news: “Congressional lawyers have served the subpoena, your Majesty!”
“Summon the armies! Prepare the royal steed! Within the hour, we ride into battle!!”
The two aides looked at each other with shared confusion, shrugged their shoulders, and sighed. “That’s our judge….”