With too much time on my hands, here’s a fun set of rhyming couplets to recapitulate the week just passed from the perspective of a hypothetical Lefty Colorado blogger:
Do I write about Marostica,
Or the dude with the Swastika?
A Republican lawmaker mocking his peers,
Or some guy to abuse for a few Josh Penry jeers?I must blog on one or the other,
‘Cause what is there really to say about Suthers?Do I write about Marostica,
Or the dude with the Swastika?One gives our free-spending values that bipartisan glow,
The other had fun stealing Michelle Malkin’s show.
Do I write about Marostica,
Or the dude with the Swastika?It makes sense to argue that the former is best,
Since Beauprez and Holtzman have long been at rest.For me and the Nutroots all know that it’s true,
Though our billionaires have bought us a Colorado Blue—Few things still fire up our propaganda machine
Like Elephants getting all riled up and mean.
But as much as I admire Marostica,
I just can’t give up on the Swastika.I say that one stranger with a tasteless sign
Quite simply does the Right-wing crowd define.And just why should a Trillion give the Wing nuts a cow?
Maybe ’cause they’ve never been to Progress Now.So do I go and praise Marostica,
Or give attention to the Swastika?
Forget the Right-wing “Losers” at the Capitol dome,
Upset at Big Government in D.C. and at home.As our Party spends all the children into debt,
And the markets all drop another day yet.As a strange few seem so sad to kiss old freedoms adieu,
And fail to pay the great “messiah” his due.And by the way, I’d rather not go on and mention
His halting speech and his grand pretensions.
All the appointees whose taxes went unpaid,
All the media-ignored mistakes Obama has made.Nor his loyal disciples — Mark Udall, Michael Bennet —
Who’re just getting used to their jobs and their perks in the Senate.I could talk out loud how Bill Ritter‘s been great,
I mean, hasn’t embarrassed us too much of late.No, my choices for blogging are only two,
The things that really matter to me and to you.
But time enough for only one,
I have to choose my source of fun.A case of messianic overstimulation—
What else could cause this dilemma of inspiration:Do I write about Marostica,
Or the dude with the Swastika?
Very creative. I’m truly impressed.
And I’m sure you’d agree no “center-righty” blogger has ever suffered a similar dilemma. Why, just look at your current fortunes. The only claim to fame that you have right now is that, a month into the Obama presidency, he is clearly out of his depth.
And so you, the “center-right”, are the folks in whom we should put our trust. *You* will lead us back to the Founding Fathers, to the font of conservatism, to that verdant political and cultural way of being that will propel us all to World Democracy.
Ben, please tell me you’re really not that stupid. I don’t believe so, but I need to see something from you that so indicates. You’re beginning to worry me.
It’s called having fun. Lighten up a bit.
But please don’t tell me you really have no idea what the phrase “center-right” (which isn’t used in this post, I seldom use, and haven’t used in a long time) refers to.
You “seldom” use? Ben, you use it approvingly on a fairly regular basis! Search your blog some time.
Regardless, if this means you’re distancing yourself from it, color me happy.